President Wrestler

In all the fun of this current election, you may declare forgotten some of the earlier candidates who fell under the cold, subjection mitt of Mitt. Yes there was Newt and Huntsman and Bachmann, still do you remember Jonathon The Impaler Sharkey? Of course you dont, hes insane. Jon Sharkey, withal known as jolty Adonis Flash, is a semi-pro wrestler, a Republican, a proponent of decapitation for criminals, a fan of girls 19 and under, and a vampire. Now thats a resume. And hes been investigated by the Secret Service for threatening to impale George W. Bush. His 2008 political campaign blog has posts that are mostly about declaring a mephistophelean holy war against Muslims and something about turning an 18-year-old girl into a vampire. Also a lot of death threats against people who fling him, so if I go missing, please question from each one handlebar-mustachioed vampires you can find. If hes recently sheared, adept look for the guy who seems to be in as good shape a s Steven Seagal, but with a confused, teenage girlfriend. Ill probably be OK, though -- Ill average blame it all on Adam Tod Brown, because I think I can outrun him.

Sharkey, as a conservative, ex-military Satanist vampire who likes teenage girls, would be a a good deal hands-on president than were used to, and apparently would lease killed stack away Laden himself if hed been president at the time, which seems nice? Im non sure. Im not sure if that was part of his political platform, either. Can a presidential hopeful just list the accomplishments of other presidents and try to winding them with fictional plans for how they would wee made them better? When not insobriet! y blood twice a week, Sharkey is making plans for his America. If you guessed that he supports in effect(p) immigration but would execute illegal immigrants by impaling them, you have a stunning gift for guessing fucked up shit. If you guessed that hes alike pro-life, you appreciate irony. Read more: The 5 Most mean Attempts to Be a Vampire in Real carriage | Cracked.com...If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: BestEssayCheap.com

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